P A K پاک

STYLED AND CREATIVE DIRECTED BY ME

As long as I can remember I have hated being brown skinned and Pakistani. From growing up in the time of 9/11, life was not so easy for me and other South Asians and even Middle Easterns. I was bullied throughout my life. On top of that, my family would shove religious and cultural values down my throat that it felt like I couldn’t live how I wanted. Was I this kid that was born to just do their bidding? Nothing felt right. I didn’t agree with many of our values; the way we taught kids that respect is given and not earned, because of age differences you’re not allowed to speak up, and so so much more. I also am the black sheep of the family so it felt like no one in my family or city understood me. After a while I kept thinking to myself… who am I? I grew a resentment towards my family, towards my culture, worst of all towards myself.

Through all of this though, I always tried to hold onto the things I did love about my traditions; the music, clothing, jewelry, art, weddings. I was so fascinated by all that related to expression. So as I aged, the more I began to separate myself from anything that limited my self-being. I learned to be who I am even if I looked or spoke different than everyone else. With that I began to express my culture how I wanted to. It may be a completely different way than what the culture does but it’s MY WAY of showing this is where I come from.

I created this shoot to show how I view myself as a South Asian androgynous soul that connects with both masculinity and femininity.
Jasmine Flowers - Pakistan’s national beauty representing: Love, Purity, Pride.

This is my oath to where I come from.